N Srinivasan’s Ten Commandments

BCCI-Srinivasan-Despicable(1)IT’S ALL DONE AND DUSTED. The governing body of the International Cricket Council has passed constitutional changes, altering its structure to make Mr. N. Srinivasan the most powerful man in world cricket. Currently barred from his role as President of the Board of Control for Cricket in India by the Supreme Court of India, it isn’t hard to imagine Mr. Srinivasan’s ‘Ten Commandments’, his first call of order as Chairman of the ICC!

1. Mr. Srinivasan shall only be addressed as ‘His Excellency’.

2. Mr. Giles Clarke and Mr. Wally Edwards shall begin proceedings at every ICC meeting with a traditional South Indian puja, in lungis of their respective national colours.

3. ICC will shift headquarters to Chennai, India. An ICC ‘Cement Throne’ shall be made for His Excellency to conduct every meeting. A statue of Sunil Gavaskar, Ravi Shastri and Laxman Sivaramakrishnan shall also be erected in front of the headquarters.

4. At the start of every International Cricket Council (ICC) meeting, each board member must kiss His Excellency’s BCCI emblazoned 24 carat gold ring.

5. Every board member will travel business class, stay in five star hotels, and watch cricket in the best seats, over and above being paid large sums of money to do as your heart desires.

6. Loyalty may be rewarded in the form of a stake in an Indian Premier League team.

7. Mr. Gurunath Meiyappan will head the ICC Anti-­‐Corruption Unit. Mohammed Azharuddin and Ajay Jadeja will assist him.

8. It is mandatory for every board member to stand and applaud His Excellency’s immaculate golf swing.

9. ‘Vande Mataram’ by A. R. Rahman is the new ICC anthem, which must be memorized and sung by all board members.

10. Filter coffee and Idlis must be served at every ICC meeting.

With the future of world cricket in apparently ‘safe’ hands, may Sachin bless fans of the gentleman’s game!

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